Moving on along....

"I don't want my life to be explainable without the Holy Spirit.  I want people to look at my life and know that I couldn't be doing this by my own power.  I want to live in such a way that I am desperate for Him to come through.  That if He doesn't come through, I am screwed."

--Francis Chan
Forgotten God

This is my favorite quote from a book recently lent to me by a friend of mine.  Ironically, as a college student, she is in a similar position in her life that us "old people" are right now in our early 40's!  If you haven't read Forgotten God, put it on your list.  I promise you won't be the same after reading it.

So, "unexplainable" has become the theme of our lives lately.  Just last night Greg was trying to explain to someone WHY we are doing this.  "Because God told us to" is our only answer.  Some people are trying to make sense of it.  We tried that.  Hasn't worked for us... let us know if you come up with anything!

The best part of "unexplainable" is we don't have to rationalize anything.  We don't have to justify anything.  We don't have to um... well, explain anything.  God is busy doing His thing.  We are busy obeying.  That's all there is to it.

So, I needed to keep this quote in mind as we told our children this past weekend that Greg and I decided we need to sell the house.  I had an encounter with God during my quiet time on Thursday morning and felt the deep need to sell the house and move somewhere more affordable until we leave for the most expensive place to live in the world!  Heh... only God!  Greg and I talked and we both agreed this is what we need to do.

So, we sat the kiddos down Sunday night and explained to them we are going to start decluttering (basically getting rid of everything we don't really need) and preparing the house to put on the market most likely late winter/early spring.

I don't know how I expected the kids to react, but 3 out of the 4 cried and the 4th one succumbed to tears the following day.  This one was a tough one for them.  First, they need to give up a lot of their stuff.  Stuff is important to kids.  We're trying to help them see God doesn't want us to worship our stuff... I think we started out with a bang on that lesson...

Second, Jayden was 3 when we moved here.  That means basically all 4 kids only remember this house.  (Jayden has select memories of our other house, which mainly consist of being afraid at night in the basement where his room was.. which is one of the reasons we moved!)

It's interesting, as a mom, to see my kids start to operate independent of me.  I realize our oldest is almost 12, but this is really just hitting me now.  When they are babies and young children, they seemed to just echo their dad and I.  If we were angry about something, they would be angry.  If we were happy, they were happy.  If we were sad, they were sad.  However now, they are individuals.  They have their own feelings and reactions.  I'm feeling the need more and more to trust God with them.  There is so much I can't do for them that they need a sovereign God for. 

I want them to learn as we do "unexplainable" things (most parents want to give their kids MORE, not LESS... bummer they got stuck with us!  ;-) for God... that He will come through for us.  He will be our ONLY explanation so that others may know Him.  In our case, there's 124,000,000 (give or take a million) Japanese people who need to know Him.  He needs to be our only explanation.

Being more sentimental about "stuff", Greg is leaning more toward the kids side.  I think I'm the lone ranger in my feelings.  I've never been real attached to stuff.  I don't know why... just not my thing.  I am a thrower, not a saver.  Photos are important to me, but thankfully those are very portable now that everything is digital!  Yes, our house has a lot of great memories, but the people that made those memories here are coming with me, so I really don't feel a lot of loss.  (Disclaimer:  Friends/extended family not included in that... that's a whole other issue for another day.  However, if you feel the calling to Japan..... :) 

Maybe I will feel different the more "real" it gets, but maybe not.... if this is what God wants us to do, who am I to question?  That's the great thing about unexplainable.  Why are you selling a big beautiful house and renting something small and not as nice?  "Because God told us to."  Unexplainable without the Holy Spirit.


May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.

Romans 15:13

GodSPEED?

So, I was thinking about the word "Godspeed".  People sometimes say this to others who are embarking on a journey or a large task.  I really wonder though where the "speed" part comes from!  (I did look it up and the verb "speed" here has nothing to do with 'quickness', but is used in the archaic sense of the word - "succeed, attain one's goal, desire")  God has not proven himself "speedy" in much of anything in our lives!  Maybe because I'm quick enough for the both of us! ;-)

If there's one thing I've learned in the past 3.5 years, it's that God does not move fast.  There are times when things seem to speed up a bit, but most of the time he moves like a turtle.  Or maybe even a snail.  I, on the other hand, am a rabbit or maybe a gazelle.  I like to go fast.  I like fast roller coasters, I like to drive fast, I liked to go fast down the alpine slide in Taylor's Falls last weekend. I like to think fast and talk fast.  Fast is good, slow is... well.... s l o w.

There's a lot of waiting in the Bible.... almost everyone I can think of had to wait on God. Abraham (for a son), Joseph (to be reunited with his family), Israelites (many times, but 400 years as slaves in Egypt probably takes the cake, closely followed by 40 years in the desert), Jonah (in a fish for 3 days), David (never did get to build the temple), even though it was a parable the father waited for his prodigal son to return, the Good Samaritan helped a man waiting in the road for help... and thankfully Jesus waits to return until as many people as possible yield their life to Him. I guess if nothing else, I'm in good company!

I think one of the hardest things God has asked me to do in this whole process is wait. Of course, waiting doesn't mean not doing anything, but waiting often entails not doing what **I** want to be doing. It means keeping my ears and eyes open for what God wants me to be doing today. It means slowing down to at least a turtle speed (I think moving at a snail's pace would actually kill me!)... letting the rabbit go ahead without me. It means not missing what God is teaching me today because I'm too focused on the future.

but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
    they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
    they shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31 ESV

I like the ESV version of this verse.  NIV says, "but those who hope in the Lord..."  I rather like the word "wait".  When I wait for the Lord (instead of plowing ahead doing my own thing),  people are able to see Jesus instead of me.  That's a really good thing!  ;-)